Month: July 2011

The Dilemma of Expectation

/ Sharon / 1 Comment

Then Peter began to say to Him, “See, we have left all and followed You.”  So Jesus answered and said, “Assuredly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or lands, for My sake and the gospel’s, who shall not receive a hundredfold now in this time—houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions—and in the age to come, eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and the last first.”  Mark 10:28,29  (NKJV)

Then Jesus said to them, “Children, have you any food?”  They answered Him, “No.” And He said to them, “Cast the net on the right side of the boat, and you will find some.” So they cast, and now they were not able to draw it in because of the multitude of fish. Therefore that disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, “It is the Lord!”  John 21:5-7a (NKJV)

I have always appreciated Peter’s bold comment to Jesus.   In fact, I suspect that the other disciples were thinking the same thing and dared not speak of it.  But there’s no tiptoeing around the issue with Peter. He points to the disciples’ sacrifice and wants to know what to expect in return. Jesus’ response is promising, scary and mysterious all at the same time. Fast forward to a disillusioned Peter after his Rabbi’s crucifixion, headed back to what he knows best – fishing. 

This morning, my pastor preached on the disciples’ fishing trip in John 21, touching on Peter’s conversation with Jesus in Mark 10.  Anyone who’s familiar with my approach to Bible study and meditation knows that I advocate prayerful wrestling with the text as it relates to both interpretation and application.  Tasting the Word is just the beginning; digesting the Word is a longer, deeper process.  This morning’s message really hit home for me. I have echoed Peter’s sentiments on more than one occasion.  While I can’t say that I’ve sacrificed nearly as much as the disciples, or those in the Persecuted Church (then and now), what I have given up (proximity to most of my family) is significant to me.  And while I’d like to consider myself somewhat socially conscious, I confess that I’ve done my share of buying into the “American Dream.” When I was 21 (loving Jesus and all), you couldn’t have told me that 20+ years later, I would be unmarried, without children, and lacking a picket fence. 

Waking up and moving forward has been a journey. I’m at a crossroads, wondering what “family” is supposed to look like for me and pondering the notion of expectation quite a bit.  What does it really mean to walk in expectancy?  How do we claim the promises of God? Where do we cross the line into a sense of entitlement?  What happens in the midst of unmet expectations and disappointment?   How does this affect our prayers?  Is it presumptuous to be specific in bringing our hopes and dreams to God? Shall we stick with general, safe prayers?  What part do prayers of relinquishment play?  How do we maintain gratitude for what God has already done while still acknowledging unfulfilled longings?

However Peter wrestled with this, Jesus showed up, reversed the fishing failure and eventually kept His promise. Peter was empowered to be a “fisher of people”, even while facing persecution.  As I move into the next chapter of my life, please pray with and for me. The plot continues, it’s a cliffhanger, and the Author ain’t telling me much in the way of details.  In the meantime, what I’m hearing right now is — “It is the Lord!”  So be it.

Your Call: How does your prayer life look when you are disappointed or disillusioned? How can you fully embrace Jesus’ promise of an abundant life without idolizing or distorting that promise?

The Gifts, The Gifted, and The Giver

/ Sharon / 4 Comments

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So Jacob’s gifts went on ahead of him, but he himself spent the night in the camp.
Genesis 32:21 (NIV)

When I was studying and teaching on the life of Jacob and his family last fall, I looked forward to the discussion around Jacob’s wrestling match (Genesis 32:24-32), one of my favorite narratives in the Old Testament.  The intensity, vulnerability and mystery of that encounter have always intrigued me, especially since Jacob emerged from it with a greater sense of identity.   Of course, broken relationships make up the context of this scene. Jacob must eventually face his brother Esau, who he had betrayed years earlier.  In response, Jacob decides to send his possessions in an attempt to appease him.  I’ve looked at this text on a number of occasions, but this time, I was particularly struck by the notion that “Jacob’s gifts went on ahead on him, but he himself spent the night in the camp”  It’s as if the gifts served as some kind of shield for Jacob, a means of protection from the wrath to come.  But God then turns Jacob’s scheme on its head. As a result of sending his gifts, servants and family members ahead, Jacob is left alone to face not his brother, but himself.  And so, the wrestler appears and the wrestling begins.  The next day, Esau greets Jacob not with a chokehold, but a hug.  Perhaps he’s had his own wrestling match. In the end, grace prevails.

As fascinated as I was with this study when I shared it with my class, I had this sinking feeling that I would have to enter into this text like I never had before.  As much I appreciate Jacob’s journey, I wasn’t trying to hang out with him like that.  It’s one thing to be a spectator in a wrestling match, it’s quite another to find yourself thrust into the ring.  But in an age where celebrity status, constant busyness, and social isolation are such temptations for ministry leaders, I have to yield to the necessary wrestling if I am to live and serve with integrity and wholeness.  So in this phase of my life, I’m confronting my tendency to define my value by what I do, what people think of what I do, and how “productive” I am.   This is not to say that I don’t value good stewardship of my gifts, but my identity needs to be rooted in the Giver so that my “gifts” are actually gifts, God-breathed and grace-filled.   What’s more, I don’t want my gifts to be a shield that blocks me from experiencing life-giving community.  In her book Stories from Inner Space: Confessions of a Preacher Woman and Other Tales, Rev. Dr. Claudette Copeland wisely observes that we are often “more comfortable with our assignments than our relationships.”

So what does this mean for me going forward?  Both of the hats I wear (minister and career advisor) involve speaking and “wordsmithing.”  So quite often, I’m thinking and praying about what to say and how to say it.  But what would it look like to have Sabbath spaces, in the presence of God and community, where I can just be?   With nothing particularly profound, clever, or witty to say.  Wrestling and resting. Giving and receiving.  Letting grace prevail.

Your Call: Is there a situation in your life that has resembled Jacob’s wrestling match?  As you make the most of your God-given gifts, how do you maintain a commitment to integrity and character?  Do you have a community in which you are embraced for who you are and not merely defined by your giftedness?

An Independence Day Prayer

/ Sharon / Leave a comment

Almighty and Loving God,

We come to You,
Humbled that we can.
Thankful that in grace and power,
You created us in Your image.
Grateful that Your Son came, wrapped in flesh,
sacrificing himself to secure our freedom.

We confess that we have not always lived the liberty that You have provided.
Instead we choose to cling to the comforts of the familiar
or to chase after the spectacular.

Help us to confront the internal bondage
that hinders us from following You wholeheartedly.
May Your love replace our fear.
May Your grace replace our pride.
May Your call replace our complacency.

Let us not avert our eyes from the oppression around us,
whether in the form of human trafficking, discrimination or violence. 
May we sit with You and grieve this injustice,
all the while being renewed by Your Spirit once again.
May we sit still long enough to hear and accept Your assignment,
all the while being empowered to transform the wilderness that we face.
May we support one another on the journey,
all the while demonstrating the power of authentic community.

May more chains fall off in our midst because we’ve been with You.

In the precious name of our Lord, Savior and Liberator, Jesus Christ, we pray.

Amen.

Your Call: In what areas of your life are you operating with more freedom?  In what areas do you need to flow with more freedom?  What areas of spiritual and/or systemic oppression concern you the most?  How do you sense that God might use you as an instrument of liberty?