Q&A

I’ll take ‘Fix my life Jesus’ for $1000, Alex.”

And so it goes in the imaginary Jeopardy! episode that airs in my mind from time to time. I have always found it odd that contestants on Jeopardy! have to come up with the right questions to the answers.

For the past seven years, Memorial Day weekend has marked the time when I lost my father.  As I recall that time of grief, I realize that my question “Why now?” went unanswered.  Yet an answer came in the form of a sermon that I heard months later titled, “Be Not Afraid.”  Another answer was in the text preached in that sermon, “The eternal God is your refuge and underneath are the everlasting arms.” (Deut 33:27)  So what were the questions?  Maybe, “How will I get through this?” and then, “God who are you anyway?”  The significance of all of this had escaped me until this past Holy Week.  On Good Friday, I sat with Jesus’ haunting question from the cross – “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matt 27:46)

The next day, an incident, while relatively minor in of itself, nevertheless awakened a deep vulnerability and sense of loss that made me feel forsaken.  I had left home fairly upbeat but returned home crestfallen, only to find that a dear sister in Christ tagged me in a video that she posted on Facebook.  The song in the video, “Try” by Colbie Caillat, was clearly God’s answer for me that day.

It was as if that Jesus reached into my soul and turned on the faucet, washing away residue of performance anxiety and quests for approval.  So what was the question?  Some time ago, I was meditating on Zephaniah 3:17 where it states that God would rejoice over God’s people with singing.  In response, I journaled and asked – “What song are You singing over me?” The answer came to me a little over a year later by way of the video.

Whenever I ponder Jesus’ cry to God on the cross, I can’t help but consider how His question is echoed at the beginning of Psalm 22.  And just about every time, what captivates me is the psalmist’s declaration in verse 21b (NKJV) – “You have answered me.” While not always answering the questions I pose, God is often in the habit of responding to questions that I haven’t asked.

The answers come how they come. Sometimes in word.  Sometimes in silence.  Always with Presence.  I worship an answering God.

Your Call: What questions are you wrestling with right now?  Could it be that God is offering answers to different or deeper questions?  

Despising the Shame: The Power of Vulnerability

470px-Omovenie_nog“…looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.”  Hebrews 12:2  (ESV)

About 25 years ago, I participated in a foot-washing service on Maundy Thursday for the first (and last) time.  I don’t remember much about it, except how exposed I felt while having my feet washed.  If Jesus were to show up with basin and towel in hand as I arrived home from work, I would be tempted to dash out for a quick pedi, or at least sneak upstairs for some cocoa butter.

Foot washing is an intimate act, as demonstrated by the Pope this week. It sheds light on tender places, hidden aches and rough spots that come when the walk gets weary.

Vulnerability makes me nervous, but there’s no true intimacy without it. It’s the vulnerability of Jesus that has beckoned me during this Holy Week.

Anointed for his burial by Mary of Bethany as she wipes his feet with her hair.

Wrestling with his Father’s will at Gethsemane.

Hanging from a cross, beaten, bloodied and stripped naked. 

Crying out “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?”

Vulnerable, yet despising the shame.  I would like to think that during these moments, Jesus called to mind that Voice which said, “This is My Beloved Son.”

So I will remind myself that I am a Beloved Daughter, despising any shame that would hinder my journey. I will sit down and take off my shoes and soak my feet in Living Water. I will let the vulnerability of these moments usher me into Resurrection.

Your Call:  Are there areas of shame that hinder the authenticity, vulnerability and intimacy necessary for resurrection in your life?  If so, begin to bring them into the presence of Christ.