Then Peter began to say to Him, “See, we have left all and followed You.”  So Jesus answered and said, “Assuredly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or lands, for My sake and the gospel’s, who shall not receive a hundredfold now in this time—houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions—and in the age to come, eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and the last first.”  Mark 10:28,29  (NKJV)

Then Jesus said to them, “Children, have you any food?”  They answered Him, “No.” And He said to them, “Cast the net on the right side of the boat, and you will find some.” So they cast, and now they were not able to draw it in because of the multitude of fish. Therefore that disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, “It is the Lord!”  John 21:5-7a (NKJV)

I have always appreciated Peter’s bold comment to Jesus.   In fact, I suspect that the other disciples were thinking the same thing and dared not speak of it.  But there’s no tiptoeing around the issue with Peter. He points to the disciples’ sacrifice and wants to know what to expect in return. Jesus’ response is promising, scary and mysterious all at the same time. Fast forward to a disillusioned Peter after his Rabbi’s crucifixion, headed back to what he knows best – fishing. 

This morning, my pastor preached on the disciples’ fishing trip in John 21, touching on Peter’s conversation with Jesus in Mark 10.  Anyone who’s familiar with my approach to Bible study and meditation knows that I advocate prayerful wrestling with the text as it relates to both interpretation and application.  Tasting the Word is just the beginning; digesting the Word is a longer, deeper process.  This morning’s message really hit home for me. I have echoed Peter’s sentiments on more than one occasion.  While I can’t say that I’ve sacrificed nearly as much as the disciples, or those in the Persecuted Church (then and now), what I have given up (proximity to most of my family) is significant to me.  And while I’d like to consider myself somewhat socially conscious, I confess that I’ve done my share of buying into the “American Dream.” When I was 21 (loving Jesus and all), you couldn’t have told me that 20+ years later, I would be unmarried, without children, and lacking a picket fence. 

Waking up and moving forward has been a journey. I’m at a crossroads, wondering what “family” is supposed to look like for me and pondering the notion of expectation quite a bit.  What does it really mean to walk in expectancy?  How do we claim the promises of God? Where do we cross the line into a sense of entitlement?  What happens in the midst of unmet expectations and disappointment?   How does this affect our prayers?  Is it presumptuous to be specific in bringing our hopes and dreams to God? Shall we stick with general, safe prayers?  What part do prayers of relinquishment play?  How do we maintain gratitude for what God has already done while still acknowledging unfulfilled longings?

However Peter wrestled with this, Jesus showed up, reversed the fishing failure and eventually kept His promise. Peter was empowered to be a “fisher of people”, even while facing persecution.  As I move into the next chapter of my life, please pray with and for me. The plot continues, it’s a cliffhanger, and the Author ain’t telling me much in the way of details.  In the meantime, what I’m hearing right now is — “It is the Lord!”  So be it.

Your Call: How does your prayer life look when you are disappointed or disillusioned? How can you fully embrace Jesus’ promise of an abundant life without idolizing or distorting that promise?